Where does the story begin? I think that’s the hardest part. High school? My motto was “Smile Always.” But no, this morning the word psychosomatic has been placed on my mind. Do you know what the word means?
Psychosomatic is a physical illness or other condition exaggerated by a mental factor such as internal stress or conflict.
Conflict, stress. It’s all relative, right?
We are unique beings living in the same time period with systematic and singular storms. The vessels that carry us through our different experiences are unique.
Maybe some of us have luxurious yachts where we can hunker down in fear in the bottom of the vessel while the captain takes on the views of the wild ocean. Maybe some of us have a dingy and we are courageous and excited to take the ocean salt spray right to the face - the storm exhilarates us and we have hope that the storm will pass. Maybe some of us are in a tug boat… I mean this metaphor could go on for a while - if you’re a boat person… choose one.
The storm hit in the summer of 2022. My wild mind was back. Jesus likes to teach me lessons through experiences.
Oregon Coast a short getaway when the chaos our world feels too much. A quick two hour drive and we arrived at one of our favorite beaches. The sunny hot day was a warm welcome as summer had arrived later than normal.
Lots of layers to the story, but on this particular day on the toasty beach while I waited for my handsome surfer, I was getting frustrated. We’d forgotten the snacks, water, and shade tent. Thankfully, there was sunscreen - delirious from lack of sleep, I opened the blue bottle and the contents poured out everywhere - tears started to roll. Our dog was barking, I needed shade, water, I needed comfort. The thing about mania is sometimes you can start to distrust everyone. The mind plays tricks and paranoia sets in. Feelings are so intense, I can almost reach out and touch them. The brain makes connections too. With sunscreen a mess all over, I started thinking about every mom I ever knew that took her kids to the beach. I thought about every time I had passed judgement on parents that I perceived didn’t have it together. I sobbed, snot and all. Conclusion? I was a bad person. I leashed our dog and the two of us found our way to a shade tree, laid against the strong base, and I cried. Bystanders walked by and didn’t stop. Another lesson which I already knew, but was reinforced - tears - stop, be the comfort.
So what does this have to do with the word psychosomatic? How can I tie it up neatly in a bow? I can’t… yet - but hang with me.
DEUTERONOMY 31:8
"Do not be afraid, or discouraged. The Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will never fail or abandon you.”