I’ve said goodbye to a lot of the online world. I remember when most of my days were filled with living on the gram and posting art. Somedays I crave being present in the studio more and being a full fledged artist again, but I am drawn to chaplaincy. There’s a tug to live in the real world. Maybe my art made a difference, but I want my hands and feet dirty with life, not just paint. As I am stuck at home with a sprained ankle and now today twisted back, I wonder where I am going and what is next in life. It seems now is a time to work and not live in my art world, but oh how I miss it. Sometimes it feels too fanciful and luxurious and I want to deny that part of myself. It’s foggy out and I am longing for sunshine. No creativity flowing whatsoever in these bones of mine. Depression has settled in and I am trying to combat it the best I can without being able to incorporate movement. I played in the studio a bit and miss the days where I was fine with whatever was produced. Now being a somewhat established artist I despise when something isn’t presentable or just right. Why can’t I just play? I am too tied up, to held down… more to come.