Motherhood

Tearful eyes, blotchy and hot rn but lighter.

I’ve never been a mother, never been pregnant and the grief around that comes in waves.

The societal, familial, cultural, and even spiritual pressure feels intense sometimes.

I often feel like an outsider on a different frontier. I’ve gone to specialists to make the most of my informed decision.

Today, a cherished confidant spoke healing into my grief. This mother of four told me a good mother would protect their child at any cost and my choice not to have a child even though it was a hard choice and not congruent with everything the world programs into us as women - was a choice of protection.

She told me, “Kandyce, you’re a good mom.”

As I type this the tears are coming quick. This was probably the most healing I have felt around this issue. I made the choice a good mom would’ve made. Tears, tears, tears. Healing is here.

#bipolar1 #motherhoodrising #grief #healing #gratefulfortherapy #gratefulheart #longingheart